2024 Bitcoin Drama Timeline

THIS IS A WORK IN PROGRESS, THERE ARE ERRORS, NOTHING IS SPELLCHECKED, AND NO SOURCES, STFU FOLLOW ON TWITTER OR BUY SOMETHING.

Week 8 // Feb 18 – Feb 24

  • Has Trump changed his tune towards Bitcoin? He still a dollar guy but still.1
  • Marathon drops “slipstream” as a way to say fuck off to all filters, effectively creating a private mempool. Always has been?2
  • Francis declares his allegiance to Tether, I mean Blockstream, I mean Liquid Network3
  • Nigeria bans Bitcoin as their shitty fiat continues to get fucked. Central bankers are the most greedy satanists on earth.4
  • Everyone hates Bitcoin Magazine.5

Week 7 // Feb 11 – Feb 17

  • Dorsey reps Satoshi t-shirt at Superbowl. This was the only ad that mattered6.
  • The magazine print a bunch of spam and the larps lose their minds.7
  • Bitcoin Kindergarten celebrates 200 episodes and might be the last 🙁8
  • Some smart ass translated Japanese sounds of Satoshi Nakamoto into Hal Finney…9
  • Biden wearing laser eyes or channeling Dark Brandon? Either way cringe.10

Week 6 // Feb 4 – Feb 10

  • Peter McCormack, the the King of Bedford, declares11 “I’m more of a journalist than Tucker.” in lead up to the Tucker X Putin interview.
  • COPA v Craig “Fraud” “Faketoshi” Wright12. Craig is absolutely unhinged in his web of lies. No expert is expert enough and he knows more than all sw creators. This is wild to see.
  • Miners fire back at the USG over their draconian demands.13
  • That feeling when “financial twitter” chimes in…. Bitcoin is fake14
  • French Montana either got hacked or is partnered with Elon’s mom and is also a Quantum Cats inscriptions and blinged phones shill15. WTF.

Week 5 // Jan 28 – Feb 3

  • Nitter Shuts down16, the great gatekeeping of twitter has begun. Also first Neuralink human trial installed.
  • The filters pave the way for regulatory moats17.
  • Faketoshi v COPA start Feb 5. Everyone is jacked for this one18.
  • “Here Come Cory” returns to try and stay relevant by shitting on Ordinals19.
  • Goodwin savages Mow with same logic20
  • Keiser shits on shitcoins, but wait, isn’t he a Tether shill?21
  • Paolo posts the most depressing meme. All the Bitcoin belong to ETF now.22
  • Biden declares was on US miners.23
  • Turns out Saylor fucked everyone with his “mining council”. What a honeypot spook.24

Week 4 // Jan 21 – Jan 27

  • GBTC Getting ripped a new asshole as withdrawals are well under way. It’s almost as if people don’t like you and don’t want to pay you 1.5% premium when the others are less than 0.5% management fee. Fuck off Barry.25
  • Bitwise YOLOs their entire stack on single address26.
  • Ten31 and portfolio responds to FinCEN surveillance bs27.
  • Texas tells Feds to get fucked28. Could this be an OP29? I think there’s a good chance but we will just have to wait and see.
  • Cramer unhinged ramps up his Bitcoin mentions30.
  • Rizzo DDOS Twitter with his thinkboi pod rip on WBD.31
  • Suspicion of spooks uniting, things are making more sense, but still developing.32

Week 3 // Jan 14 – Jan 20

  • Another regarded MMT economist33 gets a lesson in debasement from plebs. Pizza slice memes flow. Pathetic.
  • WEF summit in Davos is happening and the cringe meter is off the charts. Tony Blair wants digital ID to track all vaccines and a bunch of fake news vax propaganda commie Karens34 are crying about how toxic twitter is.
  • Cantor Fitzgerald CEO “”I manage many of their [Tether] assets. […] from what we’ve seen, and we did a lot of work, they have the money they say they have […] we’ve seen it, and they have it”35
  • Jamie Dimon squirms and lies through his teeth shitting on BTC praising “blockchain”36 “meanwhile in reality” – Goodwin, they are tied to Epstein Island37
  • OP_CAT launches and melts brains in disbelief at the money people are willing to spend on jpeg.38
  • This whole OP_CAT thing is shining light on BIP process and how broken it is. BIP editor, Kalle Alm39
  • Something something about Roast Beef Sandwiches.

Week 2 // Jan 7 – Jan 13

  • Jew tunnels under Chabad NYC headquarters.40
  • SEC Twitter hacked and prematurely announces Bitcoin ETF approval.41
  • Portnoy a big loser. Buys high, sells low. Refuses to learn. Ouch.
  • NPC’s pivot focus from complaining about Ordinals to ETF’s.
  • GBTC converts to ETF, pathetic plebs celebrating Barry as a champion. Many GBTC trust bag holders sold. Many think this was possible last of malinvestment from last cycle (yeah right)42

Week 1 // Jan 1 – Jan 6

  • Cory absolutely rekt, again, shilling trading algo contradicting everything he has been saying. Toxic maxis outraged.
  • The Swan/pedo drama continued into the new year. Odell ran the numbers on Cory, not adding up.
  • Epstein files allegedy dropped.
  • Trump drops numbers on election fraud.
  • Ocean mined an empty block, everyone made fun of them.
  • Monetary maxis proposing filters and a bunch of crazy shit to stop inscriptions and devs start weighing in saying this will cause more harm than good.
  • 10ft tall aliens in Miami spotted43

👣︎ FOOTNOTES
  1. Maybe Vivek has been whispering in his ear, or maybe the inscriptions NFT collection his team dropped changed his mind. Unlikely lmfao. LINK ↩︎
  2. Mononaut has been watching the mempools, and observing below dust threshold transactions, turns out is was Marathon flexing their muscles. LINK ↩︎
  3. Francis has been chewing on ways to scale Bitcoin for a while, and he’s landed on Liquid as being the best option (currently). He has been in Costa Rico doing work, so he knows a thing or two about onboarding and user experience. It’s just always interesting when people side with spooks. LINK ↩︎
  4. Magoo deep thread on the US Bitcoin nuclear bomb to dollarize the planet. LINK ↩︎
  5. Always has been? Well when you put a flag in the ground this happens. People generally want their memes to propagate and will shit all over competition memes. ↩︎
  6. You love to see it. He could have worn anything in the world but Dorsey is so on brand. LINK ↩︎
  7. Incredible to see how people react to the cover of the magazine. The same people that tell you that bitcoin is freedom will tell you how you are supposed to use the open protocol. So weird. The market is going to use the open protocol how it wants, it always has been and always will be this way. If that changes then it is no longer open. LINK ↩︎
  8. The boys had a good run. Bad ROI but fun nonetheless. LINK ↩︎
  9. I don’t know if this is an eye roll or interesting, but this is where we are at in the cycle. This is Bitcoin Twitter. LINK ↩︎
  10. The POTUS account is one big gaslight. When you see shit like this you know Biden has nothing to do with his comms team. I think it goes to support the theory of manchurain candidate etc. LINK ↩︎
  11. You love to see the hubris on display. You publish a couple mini documentaries and then you’re saying shit like this. LINK ↩︎
  12. Norbert has been sharing play by play from the courtroom. Cruise his timeline. It is really incredible to see how many lies. It has also been great to see Hodlonaut‘s take on all this. Praying for justice in this one. ↩︎
  13. Bitcoin Mining And ERCOT – The Data Tells The Story
    The EIA Emergency Information Collection Is Alarming ↩︎
  14. Rage quit, good job Deniz. LINK ↩︎
  15. We knew things were going to get weird, but I was not expecting French Montana X Maye Musk collaboration. LINK ↩︎
  16. Nitter Is Shutting Down Following Changes to X Guest Accounts ↩︎
  17. This is the uncomfortable truth the filter bois don’t want to talk about. They will ignore the fact that filters pave the way for way more insane filters. LINK ↩︎
  18. Dr Craig Wright Offers Settlement To COPA in Legal Confrontations Over Bitcoin ↩︎
  19. Despite all the bad PR… Cory is “re-engaged” to fight jpegs. Get over yourself. LINK ↩︎
  20. “So recursive inscriptions are just pointing at JPEGs to use as colors for pixels? Couldn’t you just, you know, use colors for pixels?” – Samson Mow

    “So AQUA just points to a federated sidechain to use stablecoin tokens for dollars? Couldn’t you just, you know, use custodial dollars?” – Mark Goodwin LINK ↩︎
  21. #Bitcoin’ers are shitcoiner (ETH ADA XRP BNB USDC NFT’s ORDINALS etc.) intolerant. Everyone should carry a can of shitcoiner repellent and do what this guy does.- Max Keiser LINK ↩︎
  22. This depresses me. LINK ↩︎
  23. Biden declares Federal emergency and will require US miners to report serial numbers and location of all asics. WTF is happening? LINK ↩︎
  24. The Bitcoin Mining Council, led by Saylor, was/is a honey trap for the feds to fuck everyone. What the IEA is doing rn is going to regulate your balls into the ground and then put a chain around your neck. All because Saylor setup a join us form. Congrats on this, seriously. LINK ↩︎
  25. BTC price risks $40K breakdown as GBTC ETF steps up Bitcoin outflows ↩︎
  26. Can you believe the balls on them. A single sig address, sent all the bitcoin there, address has no history of sending sats, just blindly sends sats there. Wild shit. LINK ↩︎
  27. You love to see this sort response from Bitcoin bags. Also pretty interesting to see all Ten31’s portfolio. LINK ↩︎
  28. Texas Governor Sends Letter to Feds. Based. LINK ↩︎
  29. I think this border crisis issue is an op to get people blaming the economy on illegals and also usher in national ID program. LINK ↩︎
  30. Jameson pointed out the frequency of Cramer’s bitcoin mentions now I can;t stop thinking about making a chart for this fml. LINK ↩︎
  31. Zzz. Rizzo goes on WBD to repitch Balaji’s thesis but this time ordinals. Hijacks twitter this week. For a week, it seems like Rizzo is the King of Bitcoin Twitter. Congrats on this seriously. LINK ↩︎
  32. Working on a post about this. Will post soon. ↩︎
  33. Why does it always have to be a woman? Jk but it is a funny joke. I am funny, Here’s the tweet. ↩︎
  34. Karens, can they be saved? ↩︎
  35. The Spookiest firm on Wall Street is the custodian for CIA Coin, I mean Tether. Great. All of Wall Street is on big inside job, you can’t convince me otherwise. No Wonder Nic simping for the Kingmaker. Link ↩︎
  36. There are cryptocurrencies that do something, that might have value. And then there’s one that does nothing, I call it pet rock. The #Bitcoin, or something like that LINK ↩︎
  37. JPMorgan to pay US Virgin Islands $75m to settle Epstein lawsuit LINK ↩︎
  38. I am not following the incentives or motivations but I was in a spaces and someone was saying that OP_CAT is being pushed because it opens the door for something shitcoiny that Starkware needs ↩︎
  39. It was posted to the mailing list and shared to twitter in a screenshot LINK. ↩︎
  40. RW twitter is on fire with memes right now. So weird and creepy. LINK ↩︎
  41. Bitcoin Twitter lost it’s mind. SEC twitter got hacked and said ETF approved. Gensler then has to come in and save face saying nothing is approved. Markets dump on the news. The memes flow. ↩︎
  42. “It’s really the last thing left of the 2020-2021 cycle. It’s come full circle. The market is slowly absorbing all this toxic baggage.. but many of the (insti) grifters are gone” LINK ↩︎
  43. Look, I am insane, but this guy posts really insane shit, and I am here for it. 10ft tall aliens reported. Fuck ton of cops show up. Airspace closed down and police scanners turned off during this? WTF is happening. LINK ↩︎

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